How is it to be together all the time?
We were asked that question for an interview we did with a newspaper pre-travel and we have been asked the same question again and again during this trip. And I get the point, even though neither of us thought about it as a problem when we left home back in January. The strange thing about the question is that it never ever comes from singles. It always comes from people who are married/in a relationship. Funny and a bit ironic right? It’s like people think “oh man, I wouldn’t stand spending so much time with my partner”.
And it has made me think: Isn’t it a bit sad that many couples and/or families are used to spending so much time apart, that they really dread what it would do to their relationship if they chose to be together full time? That there are couples who (unconsciously) have made parallel lives that seem impossible to unite in a shared dream? It’s just a thought that has come to my mind now that the questions keeps popping up.
BAck to the question: how does it feel being with your partner 24/7?
Overall I think it’s a privilege to be on this adventure with my husband. I feel extraordinary lucky that we both wanted to quit our regular jobs, empty our savings account and pursue a new way of living. That was exactly what I hoped for the day we married. I hoped that we would go out and see the world together, grow together and experience together. Take some crazy decisions and make some fun memories. And maybe build a business together one day.
Personally I wouldn’t like to be in a relationship where I wouldn’t enjoy spending a lot of time with my husband. After all I didn’t marry him just to make me company in the evenings when the baby sleeps or during weekends. I married him because I believed that together we could build a life full of adventures, big and small. He’s not only my sentimental partner, he’s also my friend with whom I do fun stuff (e.g. take surf lessons).
So, are we always together now that we travel full-time?
Of course not! We do many things separately; I go to my pilates or yoga classes, Lasse goes to the gym, some days I go to a CoWork office by myself, some days he goes out for lunch and watching a football match and sometimes we go out with new friends we have met along the way… So we don’t do everything together. That would be insane, we both need our space. And exactly that is the pillar in a relationship: To give each other space.
Come on, it can’t be all that good…
Of course we get sick and tired of each other too! And on those days I call my friends back home which always helps. And of course everything works better when each of us has our personal projects and appointments with friends or business connections. Obviously. The first month of this trip we were together almost all the time and we both really needed to breathe (also from family life), so that was when we started prioritising yoga, gym and taking turns on having Julian so the other one could go out.
We have grown a lot together during these first four months of our trip. There have been ups and downs, but not any bad disputes because overall we share the same vision in life. We have been together on a whole new level as parents, partners, friends, travel buddies and to some point also business partners (which has been a test because we were both used to lead in our respective jobs before…). I wouldn’t change anything, because I am convinced that we’ll grow stronger with all these experiences.
So to answer the question…
98% of the time it’s great to spend that much time together, and I’ve realised that the days I’ve had enough aren’t because I’ve had enough of him, it’s more a feeling of missing the other persons that used to be physically present in my life (family, friends and work colleagues). So no, I don’t need a break from my husband, I just need my friends to be around as well some times.